Choosing my one big beautiful color should be easy.
“The best colour in the whole world is the one that looks good on you.”
Coco Chanel
“Just wear whatever makes you confident!”
Everyone Else
Welp. That’s not helpful at all.
How do I know what color looks good on me?
What if I feel equally unconfident in all colors?
Does color even matter?
“You know, the design can be whack but if the fit is on point, we’re already halfway there.”
A friend, half-delirious from finals week
I was fanatic about fit until I went into my Draping II class blind.
I lost my glasses.
I couldn’t see lines.
I couldn’t see fit.
I couldn’t even find the door.
All I could see stumbling around like Velma from Scooby Doo were colors.
Periwinkle on top of peach with brown on the top.
If I squint, I can kind of see our draping professor.
Light pink on light brown with blonde down her back.
Squinting, I can kind of see my friend next to me.
Red on top of blueish dark.
Squinting and leaning in, I can see my classmate looking at me funny.
Everyone is a color blob in the distance before they become a person.
In theory, everything else can be objectively wrong.
Whack design.
Terrible fit.
A third sleeve growing out of the side seam.
But if color is right, you’re already halfway there.
Color is the new 80/20.
But how do I actually find my colors?
Most color advice sorts people into warm vs cool and matches clothing color to that.
Vein Test I have green veins and blue veins.
Metal Test Gold and Silver both look equally bad on me.
Foundation Test Apparently yellow…but really, neither pink nor yellow.
▸ YOU ARE SO YELLOW!!!

NO REALLY.
YOU ARE LIKE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YELLOW.
Alrighty then. The next time someone calls me yellow
I’m going to tell them nah bitch, I’m green :)
Color Seasons I’M NOTHING
▸ WHYYYY??!!!
Find your season. Wear the color palette. Simple enough.
The quizzes kept spitting out Dark Winter.
BUT I can’t wear all-over black and look finished.
All black flattens me out,
so I know I’m not a Dark Winter. But that’s what I kept getting.
No. I must be TRUE WINTER.
Or maybe I’m a summer. SOFT SUMMER.
NO NO. I GOT IT. I’M BRIGHT WINTER.
…but why can I only wear half the palette?
Six months in, I’ve ping-ponged across EVERY color season.
The algorithm (every algorithm) has given up showing me anything else because I watch nothing except color consultations.
I can’t look at someone without running their coloring.
EXAMPLE #1: JON

EXAMPLE #2: MY MOM

EXAMPLE #3: NICE LADY IN MY WEIGHTLIFTING CLASS

BUT WHAT ABOUT ME?!
NOTHING WORKS
WHY DOES NOTHING WORK?
I’m lost but my options to get help are slim:
A. Hire a white woman who has NO idea what I am.
B. Fly to Korea so Korean auntie can tell me how ugly I am.
Fuck it.
I’m going to figure this out myself.
I went to the nearest mall and tried on a lot of clothes.

One photo stood out.
I asked AI no context. Same answer.
I asked Jon. Same answer.
I asked my mom. Why you no smile?

My one big beautiful color is red.
BUT WHY RED?
unless…
And then it hit me.
Red is opposite green on the color wheel.
IS IT BECAUSE I’M GREEN?
LIKE ACTUALLY GREEN???
Theory!
If I’m green, that means green should look better than any brown/taupe.
I raced to the makeup store in my jammies to find out.

Also, Jon.

My One Big Beautiful Color is Red
(because I’m green)
































